The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes
Evil, mean, morbid and sarcastic jokes, quite tasteless and lacking class.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was
charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I
had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it
took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
I asked my mom if by any chance I was adopted. She replied: Hilarious. Why
would we choose you?
You know you're ugly when you get handed
the camera every time they make a group photo.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to
your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far!
the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
“You da bomb!”
“No, you da bomb!”
In America – a compliment.
In the Middle East – an argument.
Oh daddy, I love you so much!
Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m
just Harry to you!
At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day!”
how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”
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