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Black Humor / Dark Jokes

Best first: What is black and is stuck to a ceiling? A not very good electrician.
    
 Black Humor - Sarcasm

The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes

 
Evil, mean, morbid and sarcastic jokes, quite tasteless and lacking class. Enjoy!


I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace. 



I asked my mom if by any chance I was adopted. She replied: Hilarious. Why would we choose you?
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far!
 -
Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
“You da bomb!”

“No, you da bomb!”

In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.

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Oh daddy, I love you so much!
-
Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m just Harry to you!
At a first date:

He: “I work with animals every day!”

She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”

He: “I’m a butcher.”
How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand?
The blind start reading your face.
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Best Black Humor Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

See also: New jokes



 
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