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Black Humor / Dark Jokes

Best first: What is black and is stuck to a ceiling? A not very good electrician.
    
 Black Humor - Sarcasm

The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes

 
Evil, mean, morbid and sarcastic jokes, quite tasteless and lacking class. Enjoy!


 Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
"Mother, why do people die so quickly in our family?"
...
"Mama?"
"Mama?"
"Maaaammaaaaaaa!"
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.

Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
“You da bomb!”

“No, you da bomb!”

In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.
Doctor: You're obese.

Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion.

Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
I saw two kids fighting in the elementary school playground. Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They didn’t stand a chance.
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!

For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pit bull?

Just the pit bull.
What do you call people who use the temperature method of contraception?
 
Parents.
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Best Black Humor Jokes

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See also: New jokes



 
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