Little Johnny Jokes
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother. „Come
on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“
Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.
The mayor sees him and
asks, “Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?”
“I’m taking her to
the bulls so she would get pregnant,” answers Johnny.
The mayor is
shocked, “Surely your father had better be doing that?”
thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, “Nah, I think it’s really
best left with the bulls.”
Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."
– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped
her eat her gummy bears.
“So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?”
really want to talk about it mom. You’ll see it later on the news, anyways.”
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for
something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not,
Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs
Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”
Little Johnny asks his mum, “Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a
time in a faraway land’?”
“No darling,” says his mother, somewhat
distressed, “Sometimes, they can begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the
office tonight, I’ll come home later’.”
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a
special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.
Daddy is surprised, “Really?
“Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the
headmaster and two police officers.”
Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well you can’t sleep in my
Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you
didn’t speak quite so loud, I could.”
of the best Little Johnny