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Clean Jokes

Best first: A man got hit hard in the head with a can of 7up. He’s alright though, it was a soft drink.
    
 Funny Clean Jokes

Really Funny Clean Jokes.

 
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?

A. They can’t stand fast food.
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“

Wife: “Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce ‘Shall we go out and have a cake’!”
Daddy did you know that girls are smarter than boys?

No, I didn’t know that.

There you go.
Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

A boy breaks on old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.”
Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery. The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord! The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, make me win the lottery! Suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket.
Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars.
Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.
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Clean Jokes

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