Really Funny Clean Jokes.
Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail
light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway
down. That will be 300 dollars.
Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want
twice as much as that at the garage.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no
Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?
A. They can’t stand fast
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“
Wife: “Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce ‘Shall we go out and have a
I’ve been really depressed lately. A friend told me I should go to the
petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up.
I went today, but not one person
would stroke me.
I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245
She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go…
He: Just call in sick then.
A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"
The boy looks
her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."
The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?”
A recent scientific study showed that out of
2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.
A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets
extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was
from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t
to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery.
The next day Harry begs
the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord!
The next day,
Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, make me win the lottery!
Suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy a
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a
password on their Wi-Fi.