A small note to start with: It is NOT OK to use blonde jokes,
even the really hilarious ones, to make actual people feel bad.
That's a game that has no winners and nobody has ever gotten any
friends worth the name.
give out will have an influence on you, so it's best to give out
something positive. And while you're at it, why not enjoy these truly
mean and ridiculously funny jokes, just, you know - for academic purposes!
Ear doctor to a blonde: "Could you please put a hand over your other ear?
The sun is quite blinding."
One blonde to the other: "Shall I tell my
parents that I am adopted?"
How do you confuse a blonde?
That is impossible. They're already born
A blonde girl says to her friend, "I think Bill is cheating on me. I'm no
longer even sure the kids are mine."
Why was the
blonde running in circles around her bed?
She was trying to catch up
on her sleep.
A blondie comes
to the emergency room with burns on both ears and says, “Doctor, I was
totally lost in thoughts and my phone rang and I picked up a hot iron
The doctor wonders, “And what happened to the other ear?”
The blonde girl replies, “Well I had to call my boyfriend to take me to
A guy is telling a brunette
some blonde jokes. Finally she interrupts him and says, “It’s really funny
and everything, but I’m actually a blonde, I’ve been dyeing my hair
“Oh”, hesitates the man, “um, should I start over and talk very, very
One shark says to the other: “I ate a diver
last week. I’m still sick from all the plastic.”
The other shark
waves a fin: “That’s nothing. I ate a blonde last week. She was such an
airhead I still can't dive.”
A blonde goes to court.
Eventually the judge says: “I hereby declare the case closed. There is not
enough evidence that you stole the 10000 US$.”
The blonde is
thrilled: “Gosh, so does that mean I can keep the money?”
Why do women
have blue spots around their navels sometimes?
are also blonde men.
Q: What is long
and hard to a blonde?
A: Grade five.
Why would it take too long to build a blonde snowman?
You would spend too much time hollowing out the head.
Do you need to keep a blonde girl busy for days? Give her a paper with
"please turn over" written on both sides.
blonde asks another: “How come the meteorites always manage to land in
are talking, “Did you know that Christmas will be on Friday this year?”
“Oh hell, not Friday the 13th I hope!”
A blonde comes to her office in a terrible state, crying…
is concerned and asks what happened.
“My dad just died!” sobs the
“That is terrible, Sandy, you know, you should go home and
take the time for yourself.”
The blonde agrees and goes home.
The next day she’s kind of fine – until mid-day when she’s all in tears
“What’s wrong?” asks the boss.
unbelievable,” wails the blonde, “I’ve just spoken to my brother – and his
dad just died too!”
What does a fox do when he steps into a trap?
He bites off one leg
and is free.
What does a blonde fox do when he steps into a trap?
He bites off 3 legs and is still trapped.
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Just put her in front of a mirror and have her play "Stone, paper,
of Blonde Jokes
| Part 2
| Part 6