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Best Puns | Play on words | Double meaning jokes

Best first: Jokes about unemployed people are not funny. They just don't work.
    
 Best puns double meaning jokes

Pun intended.

 
Why was the toilet paper rolling down the mountain?
-
To get to the bottom.

Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.
The guests in this hotel are always stealing all the soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms.

Dirty bastards!
Dracula didn’t have many friends because he was a real pain in the neck.
Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it simply waved.
If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?
Aim for the stars! But first take care of the bodyguards.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?“
 
Mother: „No, you’ll be getting turkey, like every year!“
I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.
Toilet paper plays an important role in my life.
Why did the balloon go near the needle?
 
He wanted to be a pop star.
What did the fish say when it hit its head on a wall?

Dam!!!

“Why is there music coming out of your printer?”
-
“That will be the paper jamming again!”
Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I.
Would you like to hear a construction joke?
 
Well I’m still working on it.
A patient sobs to his doctor: “I feel like a pair of curtains!”

Doctor: “Well pull yourself together man!”

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