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Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

Best first: Chuck Norris' computer has no Backspace button. Chuck Norris makes no mistakes.
 
 Chuck Norris Jokes

The Best of Chuck Norris Jokes, Facts and Sayings!


 Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.

Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris was here
   
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
When Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy, Chuck Norris caught the bullets with his own bare hands. JFK's head exploded simply because he was so overawed.
Chuck Norris tried to lose weight. But Chuck Norris NEVER loses.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made of real cowboys!
Chuck Norris once had an arm-wrestling competition with Superman. The bet was that the loser has to then wear his underwear on top of his trousers.

When Chuck Norris walks across the meadow, he doesn’t smell the flowers. The flowers smell him.
Chuck is able to slam a revolving door.
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See also: New jokes

 



 
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