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Chemistry Jokes

Best first: You know you’re a chemist when you wash your hands really well BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
    
 Chemistry Jokes and Puns

Funny Chemistry Jokes and Puns

 
Wanted: Schrödinger’s Cat. Dead or Alive.

Chemists are crap as assault soldiers. They don’t have the element of surprise.
The real problem is not to create a perfect universal solvent, but to find something you could keep it in.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium went on a date? I mean… OMG!
Old chemists don’t die, they just become inorganic chemists.
What is the difference between organic chemistry and zoology? Organic chemists study organic compounds. Zoologists study organic compounds that run around.
Why did the Ministry of Defense order large amounts of acid? The army planned an operation to neutralize an enemy base.
After I fell off the bike, my mom covered me with potassium permanganate.
 
I felt violated.
Chemists make really bad DJs. They take extra care not to drop the base.
The bartender says, “Get out of here. We do not want your kind!”
A quicker-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.
Why are so many chemists addicted to alcohol? Because they are sure alcohol is a solution.
Which element is the coldest?
-
Brrryllium
Water said to oleic acid that they cannot be together. Oleic acid still thinks it is because she’s fat.
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Best Chemistry Jokes

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