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Dad Jokes | Father Jokes

Best first: “Did you get a new haircut dad?” “No, I had them all cut, son.”
    
 Funny Dad jokes

Good Old Dad Jokes

 
Son: "Is this insecticide good for mosquitos?"

Dad: "Not at all, it kills them!"

“I’ll call you later!”
-
“Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
“Are you alright dad?”'
 
“Actually, technically, I’m half left and half right.”
"Hey dad how was your weekend?" - "Light, dark, light, dark, Monday."
Dad to his son: "I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and dumb.
"Daughter to her dad: "What is it?"
-
Dad: “It” is a pronoun.
You: “So, dad, I was thinking…”

Dad: “Ohhhhh and I wondered what that high-pitched grinding sound was!”

Dad: Would you like to hear a construction joke?

[Yes] 

Dad: Well I’m still working on it.
"We drove past a city cemetery and my dad remarked, “Do you know why I can’t be buried here, boy?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m still alive.”
Dad: I have a very secure job. There’s nobody else who would want it.
Dad, I’m hungry!”

“Oh hello Hungry, I’m Dad!”

“But I’m really hungry!”

“And I’m really Dad.”
Daughter: “How do I look, daddy?!”
 
Dad: “With your eyes, sweetheart.”
Yo Dad, what’s up?
-
The ceiling.
Dad, I’m cold!

Go to the corner, son, there’s 90 degrees.
When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, „With my hands.“
Stop whining, you will never be the man your mother is.
Father: Do you know the joke from the 3rd floor?
-
Son: “No,”
-
Father: Me neither, I was on the 2nd floor at the time.
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of Dad Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5



 
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