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Dad Jokes | Father Jokes

Best first: “Did you get a new haircut dad?” “No, I had them all cut, son.”
    
 Funny Dad jokes

Good Old Dad Jokes

 
Son: "Is this insecticide good for mosquitos?"

Dad: "Not at all, it kills them!"

“I’ll call you later!”
-
“Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
Did you hear the joke about the elephant in the elevator? No? Me neither, I took the stairs.
Dad to his son: "I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and dumb."
You: “So, dad, I was thinking…”

Dad: “Ohhhhh and I wondered what that high-pitched grinding sound was!”

Dad: I love my rock-hard, honed six-pack so much I protect it with a good layer of lard."
"We drove past a city cemetery and my dad remarked, “Do you know why I can’t be buried here, boy?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m still alive.”
Dad: I have a very secure job. There’s nobody else who would want it.
Dad, I’m hungry!”

“Oh hello Hungry, I’m Dad!”

“But I’m really hungry!”

“And I’m really Dad.”
Daughter: “How do I look, daddy?!”
 
Dad: “With your eyes, sweetheart.”
Father: Do you know the joke from the 3rd floor?
-
Son: “No,”
-
Father: Me neither, I was on the 2nd floor at the time.
Yo Dad, what’s up?
-
The ceiling.
Dad, I’m cold!

Go to the corner, son, there’s 90 degrees.

Stop whining, you will never be the man your mother is."
"Dad you look tired."

"Oh, you mean the dark circles under my eyes? Those are the shadows of my great deeds."
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