What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?
“Do you swear to pull
the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?”
My friend boasted he
had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain where Buddha actually comes
“Mom, don't get alarmed, but I’m at the hospital.”
You’ve been a surgeon there for 8 years now. Can we start
our phone calls differently?”
The kangaroo mother got
incredibly itchy around her belly. She opened her pouch and yelled into it:
“How often have I told you not to eat the crunchy cookies in bed!”
Why is it a bad idea to insult an octopus?
Because it is well armed.
What if dogs fetch the ball back only because they think you really like
“Little Jonny, why did
you put your teddy in the freezer?”
“I would like to have a polar
Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son
wants to be once he’s big?”
Man: “A garbage man. And you
Wife: “No, why?”
Man: “Because he thinks they only work on
Why do the French eat snails?
Because they cannot stand fast food.
You: I’ll tell you a joke!
An eskimo brings his friend to his
home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s
“Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that
he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh
at his jokes.
In a boutique:
Could I try the dress in the shop window, please?
I’m sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.