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Good Clean Jokes | Part 4

Best first: Little Johnny: Odd. First my parents teach me to speak and then they want me to be quiet the whole time.

     
Mother: Eat your bread.

Child: I don’t like bread. Why do I have to eat the bread.

Mother: So you become big and strong.

Child: Why do I have to become big and strong?

Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to your family.

Child: But I don’t like bread!


A guy calls the fire department and yells excitedly: “You have to come, now, there’s a fire!”

“OK sir, but please tell us how do we get to you.”

The man asks, puzzled: “What, you don’t have them big red trucks anymore?”
Life Hack:

If you’re tired of waiting at a restaurant, just call their number and ask if they also deliver to table 16.
That moment when you’ve changed your answer in an exam in the very last second and later you realize the original answer was correct.
Why didn’t the dinosaur cross the road?
 
Because there weren't even any roads during the Jurassic Period!
Hello doctor, can you look at my laptop?
-
Why?
-
It looks like it caught a virus.
Paul to Jane: Would you like to be my girlfriend?

Jane: That’s a bit direct. Can’t you come up with something more beautiful?

Paul: I tried, but they didn’t want.

The local minister sees that every morning, some apples on his tree are missing. He makes a sign:

God sees everything.

The next morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he’s not a snitch.
Why do you call your dog ”I-know-what-you-did”?
-
I love how many people jump 3 feet high when I start calling him.

Q: How many times could old Noah go fishing?

A: Only twice. He only had 2 worms.
What did one candle say to the other?
-
A: I'll be going out tonight.
Financially I‘m set for life. Provided I die next Wednesday.
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his cell phone.

"Honey," she says in a worried voice, "please be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the highway."

"Oh it's worse than that," he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"
How come the barber won the race?
-
The cheater took a short cut.
Next Part
Clean Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

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