Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the
Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For
instance my name, address and telephone number!
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently 9 out
of 10 people there suffered from diarrhea. I can’t stop thinking about that
tenth person who apparently enjoyed it.
“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.”
“Oh come on. You just
want to get me to bed.”
“And smart, too!”
Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common?
A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried
to sell me.
Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space?
To avoid scenarios
like: "Houston, we have a problem!"
"What is the problem?"
"Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!"
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a
bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"
man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
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