I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere.
I was in a restaurant once and I suddenly realized I desperately needed
to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed
my reliefs to the beat of the music. After just a few songs I started to feel
better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at
me... That was when I remembered I was listening to my iPod.
Why do women live on average two years longer?
Because the time they spend parking doesn’t count.
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row
Woke up with a
dead leg this morning. I will not take out a loan with the
mafia ever again.
A naked women
robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
The 21st century: Deleting history is often more important than making
What is short
and would be very disturbing at breakfast?
"How do you tell that a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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of all times
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