Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get
this intense stinging in my eye.
Doctor: I suggest you remove the
spoon before drinking.
Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.
Men 1952: I just fixed the
Men 2017: I just shaved my legs.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in,
talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, “Cool accent, are you
two ladies from Ireland?”
One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales,
So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales
That’s about as far as I remember.
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row
The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
A police officer stops a car.
Officer: “Your driver’s license
Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”
Driver: “No, to do it.”
Why is women’s soccer so rare?
It’s quite hard to find enough
women willing to wear the same outfit.
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of
the vodka bottle.
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