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Jokes Top 100 | Part 4

Best first: Why do women live on average two years longer?
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Because the time they spend parking doesn’t count.

31

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
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Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

32

Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.

Men 1952: I just fixed the roof.

Men 2017: I just shaved my legs.
33

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.
34

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
35

The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.

36

A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

37

A police officer stops a car.
 
Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”
 
Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”
 
Officer: “At home?”
 
Driver: “No, to do it.”
38

Why is women’s soccer so rare?
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It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
39

I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.

Next Part
Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

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