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Jokes Top 100 | Part 2

Best first:  I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Fun

11

Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”

The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”

Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”

Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.”


12

Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”
 
Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”
 
Doctor: “Every two hours.”
13

Sleep with an open window tonight!

1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this.

One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.

14

 “My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
-
“Oh is she an alcoholic?”
-
“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”

15

I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss.
 
I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.


16
 
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!

17

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”
 
Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“
18
 
Doctor: “Do you do sports?”

Patient: “Does sex count?”

Doctor: “Yes.”

Patient: “Then no.”
19

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!


Next Part
Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

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