What birthday gift will most offend a state employee?
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A motion detector.
Signs you are getting older: You have to scroll down a lot before hitting your age in an online form.
Little Johnny: Mummy, when was I born?
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Mummy: 20th of April.
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Little Johnny: Wow, what a coincidence. It is the exact date when I have my birthday.
I asked my wife what she’d like for her birthday.
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She said that since it’s a round birthday, she’d love something that goes from zero to 200 in 20 seconds.
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No problem, I got her a nice weight scale. But really, there’s just no pleasing that woman!
What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?
Answer: Aye matey!
All the best for your birthday. May you live to be at least 95 and die happy and satisfied in a warm bed, shot by a jealous husband.
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Birthday Jokes and Birthday Wishes
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