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Short and Funny Jokes! Hilarious One Liners!

Best first: When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

  
Funniest jokes, quotes and sayings:


The best jokes | Top 100
2

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.




3

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."
4

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.” 

5

 It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

6

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.


7

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs.
8

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”
9

"Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In a stork???!!!"
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Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

See also: New jokes





 
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