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Short and Funny Jokes! Hilarious One Liners!

Best first: When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
 

  
Funniest jokes, quotes and sayings:


The best jokes | Top 100

2

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

3

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."
4

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
5

 Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.
6

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

7

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs.


8

Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Patrick: "What school?"
9

"Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In the stork?"

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Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

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