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Offline since 2020.
What is the difference between an IT guy and a regular guy?
A regular guy thinks a kilobyte has 1000 bites. An IT guy thinks a kilometer has 1024 meters.
A floppy disc is kind of like Jesus, really.
It died and became the icon of saving.
They say that a PC user keeps a screwdriver and pliers next to his keyboard, while a Mac user keeps a glass of wine.
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That actually makes sense because when your Mac malfunctions, all you can do is just get drunk.
The leading source of computer problems is computer solutions.
Q: What happens when eight hobbits get together?
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A: They turn into a hobbyte.
A programmer gets shopping instructions from his wife:
Go buy a cauliflower. If they have oranges, get two dozens.
He comes home with 24 cauliflowers.
Stephen Hawking died.
Have you tried turning him off and on again?
Two admins are talking, “There's this one guy, man, he shot down the main server yesterday within minutes.”
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“So what is he, like, a hacker?”
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“No, an imbecile.”
My iPod is in Titanic mode right now. It is syncing.
IT paradox?
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The warmer a computer becomes, the more it freezes.
A web designer is filling out a form:
Age: 31
Height: 5’9”
Eye color: #008000
A young, dynamic software company is looking for a hacker. Please leave your structured CV in our “HUB_01” computer in the C:/Documents/Applicants folder.
How many software specialists are needed to screw in a lightbulb?
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Not a single one. It’s a hardware issue.
What’s the only job you can lose when you put in too many shifts?
Assembly line at a keyboard factory.
Microsoft is releasing a new font designed for medical doctors.
They’re calling it Illegible Sans.
My IT cousin decided to switch careers and become a doctor.
I hope she never tries the switch-off – switch-back-on approach in the ICU.
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