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Yo Mama Jokes

The best first: When yo mama goes to McDonald’s, all the other customers are asked to leave.
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More Mother Jokes
YMS
name is Joe and she's the hairiest in the zoo.
YM
goes swimming. All kids are screaming, "Who's going to get to the island first!
YM
has to comb her back.
YM
is so fat and old that when God said, "Let there be light," he had to ask her to move out of the way.
YM
is so fat she looks at the menu in a restaurant and simply says, "OK."
YM
so fat, she needs two SD cards when she wants to save a selfie.
YMS
butt hair is so long it regularly gets stuck in her zipper.
YMS
armpits are so hairy she looks like she has two hippies in a headlock.
YM
is so fat when she steps on the scale, it goes: "We don't do livestock".
YM
is so fat when she died, she broke the stairway to heaven and had to go to hell.
YM
is so fat, she’s round even in Minecraft.
Until
YM
was born, whales had no natural enemies.
YM
is so stupid. She gets a second opinion from the same doctor.
You know why
YM
has such a flat head in the back?
-
Because the toilet cover keeps falling on her head when she’s drinking.
YM
is so fat she's on both sides of your family!
YM
is so hideous, she once went to a hair salon and told the hairdresser to cut her hair - and then she opened her blouse!
The zoo called. They want
YM
back.
YM
so big, she was born between the 13th and 17th December.
When
YM
farts, the volcano says impressed: Holy Smokes!!
YM
is so old her birth certificate is made out in Roman numerals.
If somebody were to light up one of
YMS
farts, that would be the end of all life on Earth.
YM
works for Weight Watchers as the "Before" picture.
YM
so fat she uses a boomerang to get her belt on.
YM
sings pirate songs on the toilet.
When
YM
goes to the zoo, she throws feces at the apes.
YM
is so fat, when she falls down in Wyoming, a bike falls down in China.
YM
so fat, when she falls on her back, she’s still the same height as before.
YMS
so fat, Ebola wouldn't know where to start.
YM
buys the All You Can Eat Menu twice.
YM
so ugly, when she sits down on a sandy beach, cats try to bury her.
YM
is so fat – she puts on a gray T-shirt and people mistake her for the Death Star.
YM
has to wear a muzzle when she goes out for a walk.
Even
YMS
tapeworms have diabetes.
YM
is so poor that ducks throw bread at her!
YM
is twice the man you’ll ever be.
When
YM
farts in the cinema, she gets a private viewing.
YM
is so poor, she runs after the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Does your dad have this really long, bushy beard?
(No)
Oh, then I saw
YM
at the shops yesterday.
YM
collects ugly children.
YM
is so fat that when the world goes down, people can still live on her.
Why can't
YM
die?
-
She is so fat, Death can't get to her.
Every time your dog farts in the car,
YM
rolls up the windows.
YM
is so fat, she sits next to everybody in the cinema!

 Hunting with
YM
is dead easy. Whatever animal sees her gets paralyzed on the spot.
YM
so fat, when she walks past a television, you miss all three parts of the Lord of the Rings.
If
YM
hadn’t jumped in the pool, NASA wouldn't have found water on Mars.
YM
so fat she shakes down the prices just by walking through WalMart.
YM
is so ugly she can stop a mob. 
YM
is so old and ugly that when the Lord said, “Let there be light”, he immediately followed it with “Holy mackerel, wtf is that!”
YM
is so fat that when her doctor diagnosed her with a flesh eating disease, he gave her five years to live.
YM
so mean, she uses yo mama jokes on orphans.
YM
went on a diet the other week. Everybody was happy and the world hunger was over.
YM
was really fat. I mean, before she was buried, the earth was still flat!
It hasn’t been fully established yet whether
YM
lives on Earth, or whether the Earth lives on your mother.
YMS
back hair so thick, she ruined your neighbor’s rake the other day trying to comb it.
YM
is so overweight she once boarded a train and the train couldn’t start rolling.






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