The best YO MAMA JOKES
The funniest jokes about your mother :-)
Your dad drives your mama to work with a forklift.
YYour mama is so fat that if she tried to bungee jump, she'd go straight
Your mother barks when someone is at the door.
YYo Momma is so fat, I made a picture of her last easter and it's still
Your mother is so ugly, your father takes her with him to work so he
wouldn't have to kiss
Yo mama is so fat, last time she went for a swim in the ocean, some
japanese boat tried to harpoon her.
Yo momma's so ugly she once threw a boomerang and it refused to come
back to her.
Yo mama is so fat, she works as an outdoor cinema screen.
Yo mama is so old her passport states her birth date as jurassic period.
YYour mom yells from the toilet: "Hey everyone, I'm 3D printer!"
Yo mama is so ugly that even the family dog refuses to lick her face.
Yo mama is so fat, the selfie stick just ain't long enough for her.
Your mom is so ugly, people break into her house just to close the
Yo mama has more chins than a chinese phone book!
Your mom works in prision as punishment.
When your mother looks out of the window, SATAN starts vomiting.
WWhat does Santa Claus and your mom have in common?
YYo mama is so fat, when she showers, it takes the water 3 minutes to
finally hit the floor.
Your mother has to peep when she goes backwards.
Yo mama is so fat she sank a rowing machine last week.
Yo mama is so hairy, she keeps getting stuck on the escalator.
Yo mama is so fat she falls from both sides of the bed.
YYour mom is so ugly, the FBI is using her as a flash grenade.
I met your mom yesterday, she seemed like a very nice guy.
Yes, I did spit your mother in the face but that was only because her
mustache was on fire.
Your mother is so fat, MOBY DICK looks like a TIC TAC next to her.
Your moms butt hair is so long she always has to fight being pulled
intto the toilet when she flushes.
A bus crashed into your mom. Your mom turned around and yelled: "Hey,
which one of y'all threw the stone?"
Yo mom looks so terrible, she went into a haunted house on a dare and
came out with a new job.
Yo Mamma is so fat - when she gets into a lift it only goes down.
Yo mama is so fat when she leaves the house in high heels she comes home
Yo mama is the stronges one in prison.
Yo mama received an offical ban on jumping. NASA calculated there's too
much of risk she'd be taking us out of orbit.
Yo mama is so fat she has to put a "Detour" sign around her neck when
she goes out for walk.
Yo mama once lit her fart. The sun said,"I give up!"
Chuck Norris is afraid of your mother.
When your mother lies on her stomach, she gets vertigo.
We don't need a wall to protect the US. We can just put up a line of
posters of your mom.
Yo mama steals your pocket money.
When your mom farts, even the skunks outside have problems breathing.
TThey banned your mother from Walmart.
Yo mama has legs like a gazelle. Maybe not as thin but definitely that
Your mother is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the mirror gasps,
"Whoa, no, I quit!"
When I see yo mama, I feel pretty again.
Bob the builder once saw your mum, he said, "No, we can't fix this!"
Yo mama is so fat she had to be baptized in SEA World.
Your mom is so fat she darkens our classroom every time she comes to
pick you up from school.
How do you get your momma in the house?
You grease the door
More Mother Jokes
name is Joe and she's the hairiest in the zoo.
goes swimming. All kids are screaming, "Who's going to get
to the island first!
has to comb her back.
is so fat and old that when God said, "Let there be light," he had
to ask her to move out of the way.
is so fat
she looks at the menu in a restaurant and simply says, "OK."
so fat, she needs two SD cards when she wants to save a selfie.
butt hair is so long it regularly gets stuck in her zipper.
armpits are so hairy she looks like she has two hippies in a
is so fat when she steps on the scale, it goes: "We don't
is so fat when she died, she broke the stairway to heaven and had to
go to hell.
is so fat, she’s round even in Minecraft.
was born, whales had no natural enemies.
is so stupid. She gets a second opinion from the same
You know why
has such a flat head in the back?
Because the toilet cover keeps falling on her head when she’s drinking.
is so fat she's on both sides of your family!
is so hideous, she once went to a hair salon and told the
hairdresser to cut her hair - and then she opened her blouse!
The zoo called. They want
so big, she was born between the 13th and 17th December.
farts, the volcano says impressed: Holy Smokes!!
is so old her birth certificate is made out in Roman numerals.
If somebody were to light up one of
farts, that would be the end
of all life on Earth.
works for Weight Watchers as the "Before" picture.
so fat she uses a boomerang to get her belt on.
sings pirate songs on the toilet.
goes to the zoo, she throws feces at the apes.
is so fat, when she falls down in Wyoming, a bike falls
down in China.
so fat, when she falls on her back, she’s still the same height as
so fat, Ebola wouldn't know where to start.
buys the All You Can Eat Menu twice.
so ugly, when she sits down on a
sandy beach, cats try to bury her.
is so fat – she puts on a gray T-shirt and people mistake her for the
has to wear a muzzle when she
goes out for a walk.
tapeworms have diabetes.
is so poor that ducks throw bread
is twice the man you’ll ever be.
farts in the cinema, she gets a private
is so poor, she runs after the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Does your dad have this really long, bushy beard?
Oh, then I saw
at the shops yesterday.
collects ugly children.
is so fat that
when the world goes down, people can still live on her.
She is so fat, Death can't get to her.
Every time your dog farts in the car,
rolls up the windows.
is so fat, she sits next to everybody in the cinema!
is dead easy. Whatever animal sees her gets
paralyzed on the spot.
so fat, when she walks past a television, you miss all three parts
of the Lord of the Rings.
hadn’t jumped in the pool, NASA wouldn't have
found water on Mars.
so fat she shakes down the prices just by walking
is so ugly she can stop a mob.
is so old and ugly that when the Lord
said, “Let there be light”, he immediately followed it with “Holy mackerel, wtf is that!”
so fat that when her doctor diagnosed her with a flesh eating disease, he
gave her five years to live.
so mean, she uses yo
mama jokes on orphans.
went on a diet the
other week. Everybody was happy and the world hunger was over.
was really fat. I
mean, before she was buried, the earth was still flat!
been fully established yet whether
lives on Earth, or whether
the Earth lives on your mother.
back hair so
thick, she ruined your neighbor’s rake the other day trying to comb it.
is so overweight
she once boarded a train and the train couldn’t start rolling.