Smart (Clever) Jokes | Part 2

It is not those who lack it, but those who have too much of it, that will try to steal it from you. What is it?
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Answer: Time.

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Any mushroom can be eaten.
The trick is to find those mushrooms that can be eaten more than once.

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Now that he’s dead, everyone pretends they were soooo into Stephen Hawking.

I bet you they couldn’t even name five of his songs if you asked them.

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Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!”
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One of the staff: “Um, boss, this is a Zoom meeting.”

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A good deadline reaches places motivation never could.

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Chuck Norris rewrote the periodic table.

He added the element of surprise.

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A German driver was pulled over on a Polish highway by the local police.
 
Polish policeman: "What’s your name, sir?"
 
German: "Helmut Rauchbraucher."
 
Policeman: "OK. Age?"

Helmut: "53."

Policeman: "Occupation?"

Helmut: "Oh no, I’m only visiting."

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Time is money.

Hence, ATMs are time machines.

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I tried to cross-breed cows and hyenas for my PhD thesis. Not such a great idea, the result was a laughing stock for the whole university.

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Once I started to read between the lines, I realized that all books were really the same.

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The adjective of quiz is quizzical, right?

So what’s the adjective of test?

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Remember, before internet, how everybody thought the cause of dumbness was limited access to information?“

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Two blind people are walking, one of them with a twenty-meter white cane and nudges the other, “So, I got myself this really sweet pair of binoculars!”

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Smart Jokes - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

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