Little Johnny Jokes
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother. „Come on
mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“
Why was Little Johnny crying?
He put some of his mum’s cream on
his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years
Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.
sees him and asks, “Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?”
“I’m taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant,” answers Johnny.
The mayor is shocked, “Surely your father had better be doing that?”
Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, “Nah, I
think it’s really best left with the bulls.”
Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."
– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
helped her eat her gummy bears.
Johnny, where’s your homework?
very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you
do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.
“So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?”
really want to talk about it mom. You’ll see it later on the news, anyways.”
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for
something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not,
Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK
Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”
Little Johnny asks his mum, “Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a
time in a faraway land’?”
“No darling,” says his mother, somewhat
distressed, “Sometimes, they can begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the
office tonight, I’ll come home later’.”
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a
special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.
Daddy is surprised, “Really?
“Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the
headmaster and two police officers.”
Teacher: “Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Come, tell us at least two
pronouns, right now!”
Little Johnny: “Who, me?”
who knew, very well done.”
Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well you can’t sleep in my
Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you
didn’t speak quite so loud, I could.”
of the best Little