Anti Jokes | Part 5 (Crazy)

Crazy Anti-Jokes

Two candles meet.
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“So what you are up to tonight?”
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“I’m planning on going out.”

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One cow remarks to another, “Mooooo.”

 The other looks at her, “Can’t you see I’m eating my yogurt here? Leave me alone!”  

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What is red and flies through the air?
 
A tomato in a helicopter.

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Why did the police stop the elephant from driving his bicycle?
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The bike was missing the front light.

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Two cows sit in the basement, chopping up oil.

 A screwdriver goes in through the door, goes up the wall, crosses the ceiling, heads back down the other wall and goes out through the second door.

 One cow looks at the other and says, "This is insane, did you see that?" "Yeah, totally insane, he never greets."

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A guy wants to chase away four birds that are sitting on his roof. He throws little stones at them and shouts: “Shove off!!”
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One bird replies: “Please ask us again at around 5 or 6 pm.”

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What is red and drifts over a desert?
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A fart with a sunburn.

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You know it’s raining when you go out and you get wet.

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Two cigars are walking down the street. One of them asks, “Hey, have you got a lighter? I’m in the mood for smoking.”

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An apple comes home and sees a pear on the couch. “I have a good life,” says the pear.

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Two skyscrapers are sitting in a storage room. What’s wrong with that?
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They accidently locked themselves in.

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Anti-Jokes:
 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5