Part 1 |
A man sees a shooting star. - “Oh, how nice! I can make a wish! I
want a woman who knows what she wants!” - The shooting star
pauses briefly, then turns around.
What do you call a fly without wings? - A walk.
How do you tell you’ve had two dinosaurs in the fridge?
footprints in the butter.
Two tomatoes are walking across a street. One of them gets run over by a
truck. - The first tomato looks at the gruesome scene and says:
“Well, life’s not a petting zoo.”
Two milk cartons are sitting on a roof. Suddenly one milk carton throws the
other down and says, “That’s what you get.”
How can you tell you have an elephant in your bedroom?
big "E" on his pajamas.
What is small, grey and triangular?
The shadow of the green
What is white and rolls up a mountain slope? - An avalanche who wants
to get home.
Do unzipped files get embarrassed?
A gummy bear sits on a power line and says to the other gummy bear,
What does a farmer say when he's looking for his tractor? - "Where is
At a farmer’s market stall:
Customer: Excuse me, is this tomato
Seller: Why do you want to know?
Yeah, why do you want to know?
Two skyscrapers are sitting in the cellar, knitting gasoline.
there anything odd about this?
Of course – you can only crochet
Q: What is blue and smells like red paint? - A: Blue paint.
What is yellow and cannot swim? - An excavator! - And why? -
Because it only has one arm.
What is red and drifts over a desert? - A fart with a sunburn.
What is black, red, and golden and flies through the air? - A lady
bug with a golden tooth.
Two bunnies are sitting on a roof.
One bunny suggests, “Shall I
throw you down?”
The second bunny replies, “Nope.”
Where do cows like to go? - In a mooooseum.
“I’m touched,” said the dough and looked at me.
Photographer: “And will you want those pictures in color or
Two fish meet. One says: “Blubb”.
A ball rolls around a corner and says, “Damn, I missed my bus.”
How many elephants fit into a submarine? - Twelve, because the
doorbell is on the left side.
Two sheep are sitting in a rubber boat in the middle of the ocean. A nothing
floats along and passes by the boat.
One sheep remarks, “Did you see
The other one says, “No…”
First sheep agrees, “Me
What does a skeleton say when he enters a bar?
What is green, small, hairy and has three white points?
A man goes with his daughter in a forest. “Look a mushroom!” points the dad.
- The mushroom turns around and
says, “So what?!”
Two walls meet at the corner. Next Part 2
Best Anti Jokes