Hilarious Clean Jokes | Part 5

Two clairvoyants meet. One says to the other: “You are fine, and how am I?

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Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife.”

“Oh no, how long have you been friends?”

“Since two days ago.”

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That awkward moment when you’re trying to have small talk with your driving instructor and you ask him what he does for a living.

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Teacher: "OK class, who will give me the chemical formula for water?"

Pupil: "HIJKLMNO."

Teacher: "What on earth are you on about?"

Pupil: "Well you said yourself yesterday it was H to O!"

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What a difference a good shower makes!

I was irritable, exhausted and I felt like hell.

Now I’m irritable, exhausted, I feel like hell and I smell of grapefruit!

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 Daddy reads some bedtime stories to make little Jonny fall asleep.

Half an hour later mommy opens the door quietly and asks: “And, is he asleep?”

Little Jonny answers: “Yes, finally.”

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An employee complains to his boss, “Sorry boss, but the salary doesn’t even remotely match the effort I put into my work.”
 
Boss nods, “I know, but we can’t let you starve to death.”

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What should you do when you see a spaceman?

You just park in it, man.

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First Part
Clean Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5