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Kid Jokes | Part 4

Best first: What keeps going up and down but doesn't move? - The temperature!

     
When do you stop at green and go full speed at red?
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When you're enjoying a watermelon!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a teacher?
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Lots of blood tests!
Teacher: Okay class, when I ask you a question, I want you all to answer me at once. How much is six times 3?
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Class: "At once!"

How can you open a banana?
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With a monkey!
A plane with 4 people on board is about to crash. The 4 people are the pilot, the president, the world’s smartest man and a ten-year-old. They only have 3 parachutes between them.

The president cries: “I’m the president, people need me to live!” and he jumps out.
The world’s smartest man cries, “I’m the world’s smartest man, I’m needed in the world!” and he jumps out.

The pilot sighs and says, “You take the last parachute, kid, I’ll go down with the plane, that’s my job.”

The kid smiles, “No need, there are still two parachutes left. The world’s smartest man took my backpack.”
 Why does Little Johnny always tiptoe past the medicine box?
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He’s afraid what would happen if he woke up the sleeping pills.
Teacher: "You got a zero in the last exam."

Roger: "I don’t think I deserve a zero!"

Teacher: "Neither do I. But I can’t go any lower than that."
What begins with P, ends with E, and has a gazillion letters in it?
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The Post Office!
Q: What do lawyers usually wear when they go to court?
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A: Lawsuits!
Q: Why does the traffic light go red sometimes?
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A: So would you if you had to change in the middle of a busy intersection!

How do you start a communication with a fish?
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You drop him a line!
Q: What spends its days lying about on the ground but never gets dirty?
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A: A shadow.
Next Part
Kids Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

See also: Cute Jokes

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