You stole my Microsoft Office and for that you’re going to pay.
You have my Word!
Web site log in: Sorry, your password 257EeffQ@# is not secure enough.
Cash machine login 1234: Here’s your 1000 dollars.
When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day.
Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home.
I’m already doing 60 in a 30 mph zone and still that guy is sticking to me.
And now he’s blinding me with these fancy blinking blue lights. The world is
full of psychos!
Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”
“Hey – did you just call
me ugly and fat in retrospect?!”
Not every badly unkempt guy is homeless. It could well be that he lives with
3 females and only 1 bathroom.
A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.
looks at them suspiciously and says, “Is this some kind of a joke?”
Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this. Would you be so kind and pack
it for me? To take away?
But sir, this is a buffet.
up I said!“
I wish I could go to the Maldives again.”
“Wow, you’ve been to the
“No, but I wished it before.”
“Mommy, I saw you jumping on daddy’s belly yesterday night.”
we were trying to get rid of daddy’s big belly. I jump on him so all the air
would come out.”
“Aha, I know why it isn’t working then – the woman
from next door comes every afternoon when you go shopping and blows all the
air back into him again.”
I broke my personal record for a 100 meter dash: I’m on 64 meters.
I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I
called the number and said that I didn’t. - I like to help where I can.
I just like to sleep naked. The air-hostess could have been a bit more