Top 10 funny messages for an answering machine message
1. Hello, this is Frank's fridge. If you
leave a message, I will attach it on my door with a magnet.
Hello, I am David's answering machine. And who are you?
Hello, this is Death speaking. If you leave your name and telephone number,
I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
4. Hi, I'm at home but
unfortunately too drunk to find the telephone. Please leave a message and
I'll call you back as soon as I'm capable of it.
5. Hello, this is
Daniel's answering machine. Please leave a message between the beeps:
Beep-beep. Nothing? OK, good bye.
Hello, this is Anna's answering machine. I'm always here for you and I love
listening to you. Please leave a message after the beep.
No, please not the beep. Please, noooo.... Beep
8. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be
used against you. Please speak after the beep.
9. Hello, you are connected to the Vatican. All the confessionals are
Please explain your sins in full detail after the tone.
Hello? Hello? Yes, Aha... Well this is Tony's answering machine. Sorry he's not
here. But you can leave him a message after the tone.
Now that's just plain unfair:
"To work in order to stop yourself
thinking is also laziness."
You were the only child in your family to be given up for
If somebody calls you ugly, you can just say,
“You’ve mistaken me for your mirror again, didn’t you?”
millions of years of evolution, you’re kind of a disappointment.
breathing. That’s about it for today’s productivity.
A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your
enemies that you have teeth.
I am an example to
others. A bad example.
Rule No. 1: Women are
Rule No. 2: If a woman is not right, Rule No.1
Men with piercings are ideal marriage material. They are
not new to pain
and they have experience with buying jewelry.
Gabi Köster -
Girls want a lot
from one guy. On the other hand, a guy only wants one thing from a lot of
When somebody talks crap:
“Here, have a tissue. There’s still a bit
of bullshit left on your mouth.”
Panic, Chaos, Pandemonium – my work here is finished.
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" clearly never tried slamming a revolving
May I be excused? My brain is quite full.
The perfect man doesn’t swear, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t
drink. He also doesn’t exist.
Do not let your mind wander too much. It is too small for you to let it out
The human body was clearly designed by a civil engineer. Who else would put
a waste disposal pipeline running through a recreational area?
Just you keep on talking, for sure someday you’ll say something intelligent.
Every rule has an exception. This rule is no exception.
When the weekend is over:
Where exactly was I in the night from
Friday to Monday???
Monday office chat:
There are days one should really just sleep through. Like Monday through
Promises are like babies… They’re fun to make but hard to deliver.
| Part 6