If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is
play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it
won’t stop the rain but it will allow you to keep going.
“I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the
obvious one was ‘Shout for help’.” - Jimmy Carry
If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s
First you learn to read.
Then you read to learn.
“Rice is great
if you’re really hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something.” – Mitch Hedberg
If you think nobody cares if you’re
alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
How is it that one careless match can start a raging forest fire, yet it
takes an entire box to start a campfire?
“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past
that age. ”
mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to
cover me up. - Rodney Dangerfield
Patience is something you
admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.
“My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.”
Do you think you’re safe in a car with your seatbelts on? Dream on. My
friend thought so. Now she’s pregnant.
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
“What’s my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I
can just curl up and relax with. Wait I’m describing my bed again.”
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
| Part 6
| Part 7
| Part 8
| Part 9
| Part 10