Legal notice Privacy

Funny and Amazing Quotes | Part 2

Best first: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kingston

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Marilyn Monroe

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
 Chris Rock
I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!
Will Ferell
“I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.”

Bill Murray
“My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop.”

Bill Murray

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.
Will Ferell
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
“I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.”

Bill Murray
Off to Azerbaijan!
Eddie Izzard
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry
Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them as much.
Oscar Wilde
Next Part
Funny Quotes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Do you like our jokes?

Check out all our funny categories:

New Jokes

Top 100 Funny Jokes

One Liners

Hilarious Jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes

Kids Jokes

Fun Facts

Marriage Jokes

Redneck Jokes

Yo Mama Jokes

Funny Riddles and Answers

Dad Jokes

Funny Quotes

Best Puns

Little Johnny Jokes

Cute Jokes

Knock Knock Jokes

Clean Jokes

Blonde Jokes

Funny Sayings

Funny Pick Up Lines

Fart Jokes

Bad Jokes

Sarcasm / Black Humor

Shower Thoughts

Pirate Jokes

Practical Jokes

Cross the Road Jokes

Geek Jokes


Birthday Jokes

Chemistry Jokes

Christmas Jokes

Thanksgiving Jokes

Dog Jokes

Cat Jokes

 Do you know a good joke?
Please submit it here:

Security question:
What do you see on the pictrues?

UP to the top of the page
Press Ctrl + D on your keyboard (Mac: Command + D) to add to your bookmarks.