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Jokes Top 100 | Part 7

Best first: My wife divorced me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about now is how to win her back.

61

Why haven’t you ever seen any elephants hiding up trees? Because they’re really, really good at it.

62

We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was "Michael".
63

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.

The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”

Son: “Yeah.”

Detector: “Beep.“

Son: “OK, OK, I was in a cinema.”

Detector: “Beep.”

Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”

Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“

Detector: “Beep.”

Mother laughs: “Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!”

Detector: “Beep.”
64

What is dangerous?
-
Sneezing while having diarrhea!

65

Secretary: “Doctor the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment.”
 
Doctor: “Tell him I can"t see him.”


66

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
67

"I really don't know which kid I'm supposedly being unfair to, according to my wife, Thomas, Anton, or the fat, ugly one?"

68

"Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"
 
"So you can all be really sad when I die."

69

A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.


Next Part
Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

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