What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
didn't count with this...
Crowded elevators have a different smell to children and midgets.
Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really
great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very
fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”
Me and my wife
decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants
one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own
I can only guess people with dark-tinted car windows must pick their
noses much more aggressively than the rest of us.
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed
Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?”
“I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”
Pessimist: "Things just can't get
Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!"
Next PartFunniest jokes
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