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Jokes Top 100 | Part 3

Best first: Why are you laughing? -  Just give it a second. You will smell it.
Gags

20

In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
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One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
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The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”

21

Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery.

The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord!

The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, make me win the lottery!

Suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket.
22

Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.

Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”

“Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”

23

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
 
   The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”
24

Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

25

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

26

In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"
27

Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.

Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.

28

Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?”
 
Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?”
 
Mr. Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”

29

Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

Next Part
Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

See also: New jokes

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